The Struggle Between Motherhood and Ambition

I often think about the dreams I once held close. Dreams that were bright, vivid, and filled with possibility. As a mother, I sometimes feel like I’ve been asked to put those dreams on hold, as though they are no longer important. I’m supposed to focus on being the best mom I can be and giving everything to my children and family, but where does that leave the part of me that still craves more?

Langston Hughes’ poem “A Dream Deferred” asks what happens to a postponed dream. Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Does it crust over and fester? Or, does it explode? These words resonate deeply because deferring those dreams has sometimes felt like losing pieces of myself.

Here’s the thing, my dreams haven’t disappeared. They linger, sometimes in the background, but always there, waiting to be acknowledged. However, if ignored for too long, I fear they may either wither away or explode with frustration. Someone once asked me if I had grieved my desire to work behind the scenes in film and television, and for a long time, my answer was a confident yes. I honestly thought I had moved past that ambition. Now, I’m not so sure. That dream is growing louder by the day, and I’m constantly trying to find my way back to it.

The hardest part is the fear that my dreams and family can’t coexist. It feels like I have to choose. Do I serve myself and pursue what I desire, or do I continue to give everything to my family? That fear stops me from dreaming, from believing that I can achieve anything beyond being a mom and wife. It’s the fear of reality—of facing the possibility that my dreams may never come true—that makes me hesitate.

So, what happens to a dream deferred? I’m still figuring it out. But I know one thing, as mothers, we deserve to hold onto our dreams. We deserve to believe that we can be more than one thing. Yes, we are mothers and wives, but we are also women with aspirations, ambitions, and the determination to pursue them.