Working from Home: My Double-Edged Sword

Working in a traditional office was a lot like running a daily marathon. Every morning was a race against the clock. Snoozing various alarms, getting my son ready, battling the offensive South Florida rush hour traffic, and finally landing at my desk already unhinged. The office was full of constant interruptions, and the watchful eye of a supervisor added to the stress. The pressure to look busy and productive was intense, and by the end of the day, I felt utterly drained.

When I switched to working from home, it was like a breath of fresh air. Stressful commutes and rushing out the door with a kid in tow were things of the past. My home office became a peaceful haven. The comfort of home allowed me to work in a quieter, less distracting environment.

However, this newfound freedom came with its own set of challenges. With a supervisor watching over me, I found it easier to stay disciplined and focused. The lack of external structure made it easy to procrastinate and get lost in my thoughts. I had to set strict deadlines and routines, but the absence of immediate accountability often led to stress.

I began to feel that without the watchful eye of a supervisor, I wasn't being productive enough. This belief started to weigh on me, creating a different kind of pressure. I doubted my ability to stay on task and meet my goals without the external motivation provided by a traditional office environment. The sense of underachievement was heartbreaking, even though, in reality, my productivity hadn't decreased.

As I tried to get a better understanding of my work habits, I discovered that undiagnosed ADHD played a significant role in these challenges. The structured environment and immediate accountability in the office masked some of my inattentiveness. The external pressure to perform kept me on task, albeit at a high cost to my mental well-being. At home, the lack of structure and oversight revealed the true extent of my difficulties with focus and organization.

I learned to hide my struggles even better while working from home. Since I was working alone, it became easier to cover up moments of distraction or lack of motivation. There were no prying eyes to catch me staring out the window or taking an extended coffee break, making it harder to gauge how much time I spent on productive work versus getting sidetracked.

The freedom and flexibility of working from home are invaluable, but they come with the risk of slipping into unproductive habits. I've had to develop new strategies to keep myself on track, like setting multiple alarms, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and rewarding myself for completing them. Understanding that undiagnosed ADHD was a significant factor in my work-from-home difficulties was a turning point. It allowed me to seek the right tools and support to manage my condition effectively.

Working from home with undiagnosed ADHD is a delicate balance. It's a journey of self-discovery and adaptation, learning to navigate the complexities of my condition while striving to be the best version of myself, personally and professionally. Despite the challenges, and I do mean challenges, the ability to create a work environment tailored to my needs has been a game-changer.